8 months ago | 149,997 notes
instead of getting periods can girls just get a text once a month from nature saying “you’re not pregnant have a nice day”
(Source: virtualjew)
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Cheshire - Created by Alter Imaging
Mike got a new phone and didn’t have my number yet…
Me: nigga nigga nigga
Mike: …it’s kinda weird how much that does not narrow down who this is hahah
Me: Wanna play 20 questions?
Mike: Oh lord. Okay. Do you have a penis?
Me: nope
Mike: Are you in high school?
Me: nope
Mike: Do you go to college?
Me: Yup
Mike: In PA?
Me: Yup
Mike: Does the name Dan Uggla make you want to break something right now?
Me: Yup
Mike: Hi Monica.
